You're overdue, baby

In dreams the origami of the brain

opens like a fist, a pomegranate,

an expensive geometry.
-from "Night Madness Poem" by Sandra Cisneros

She is my favorite poet. Her book of poetry "Loose Woman" is my go-to, my inspiration, my muse. Her poems are seductive, sensual, emotional, colorful, vivid. They are outstanding, to me. To others, they may not say a thing. But to me, to me they speak volumes.

I have been in a writing funk this past week. I don't know why. I never know why. It just happens, you know. It sneaks up on me in the dark, probably while I'm sleeping, and creeps into my brain. Suddenly, I'm not writing. The thought of writing fills me with angst so I turn away. I watch TV or read stuff on the internet, the blogs of my friends, Facebook. I check the garden, play with the dogs, eat something. Always eating something.

So my friend wrote me and said, You're overdue, baby. I pretended to not understand, but then he told me to just write, anything, anything at all, just write. Now that's a good friend.

Here I am. Not much to say, still. But I'm writing.
Thanks, Steve

Dream in color

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Have you ever felt like you're on the edge of something really big - not a mountain you're in danger of falling from but something really wonderful just beyond your reach?
When I was a little girl, I had a dream that was pretty amazing. It's in the top 10 of my Best Dreams of All Time list. I was walking in a neighborhood at night and everything was black and white and gray. I rounded a corner onto a different street and suddenly everything turned to full-on color - bright oranges and reds and golds! It was beautiful. I can still see that picture in my mind - gray on one side, bright color on the other. Maybe I had just seen "The Wizard of Oz" and it prompted that dream. I don't know.
But that's how I feel right now, like I'm on the verge of turning the corner into technicolor living. If I can just keep walking and seeking, if I will not grow weary, give up and give in, I will find it. Soon, very soon.

To Do List

karendavis.us

Bake biscotti
For Christmas presents
Redo your resume so
You sound like someone else
Someone capable
And smart and young
Post it on Craigslist
Sit and wait, patiently
Like fishing for a job
Start shopping now
For Christmas, think
Of the grandbabies
Think of the kids
Parents, your honey
Be creative
Write a story about
Mothers sacrificing
Dreams for the prayers
Of their children
And the mystery of sons
Do something you love
Whatever makes you feel
As great as you are
Don't be afraid

Downtown

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Driving through a city

In some downtown at twilight

My heart is quiet and

Thoughts skip like rocks

I feel like I am somewhere else

With mountains in the clouds

Hipster on the corner plays guitar

His girlfriend dances beside him

Long blonde hair twisting and twirling

Spinning, eyes closed, freckled skin

Flat-brimmed hat held upside down

Outstretched, silently asking for thanks

I toss in spare dollars

Wadded in my purse

Along with a ring pop

Left over from the last visit

With my granddaughter

The beautiful music

And absolute coolness of it all

There on the street corner in the middle

Of passing cars, people on their way

To dinner or jobs or drinks with friends

Makes me feel like flowers bloom

In my hair, like I am thin and young

And rich in ways that money cannot buy

Hipster and his girl smile warmly

Hands never leave the guitar

She opens the ring pop

Slips it on her thumb

Green eyes following me away

The After Game

Please check out my new blog at www.theaftergame.com. I'm doing most of my writing there these days and on a regular basis! Thank you!!

Salad for Dinner

In our ongoing battle

Of the middle-age bulge

We eat a lot of salads

For dinner, big salads

Every single week

And I actually enjoy

These salads, making

Them and eating them

Crave them, in fact

So it's a good thing

The salads contain a

Smorgasborg of yum

Fruits and veggies

Nuts and crispies

Chicken, peppered ham

Mesquite-smoked turkey

Cheese, lots of cheese

Hard-boiled eggs

(No yolks for me, oh no)

And as I told

My Chuck tonight

When he gave me

A hug and thanked

Me for dinner

I said:

Yes, I like them too

They're better than

Eating fried foods

Which I can't eat

Anyway, anymore

Because it hurts my

Middle-aged stomach

But.....the next time

We do choose badly

It's going to be

Fried chicken.

Blogging is complicated stuff

Thought ripples drive me nuts.

I am consumed with my new endeavor. It fills my every waking (and sometimes sleeping) thought. I feel like I'm on the road to actually Doing What I'm Supposed To Be Doing and it fills me with joy. Yes, joy!

This is my new endeavor. Please subscribe.
theaftergame.com

I'm not sure how much I will write in this blog here, this one, this Life After 40, but I imagine I will use it for more personal what-the-hell-am-I-doing and why-are-people-such-assholes type posts. I still gotta vent. And then I have my old standby over at Live Journal, the one I've kept since 2001. That's one I reserve for the stuff I gotta talk about but can't let just anyone and their grandma read.

This blogging is complicated stuff. But then, I'm a complicated person. Today I was talking to my mom about a certain situation (which shall remain nameless due to certain legalities that I don't really know about but which probably exist) I'm in the middle of that most people would probably be very joyful and excited about. Not me. I am excited, to an extent, but I can't help but think about all the implications of it too. My mind is like an ocean, every thought like a pebble dropped in calm water, every implication and resulting action of the thought like ripples from the dropped pebble, the ripples growing and growing, reaching further and further, all the way back to my childhood and into my future. It's ridiculous. So I said to my mom: "I have such weird emotions over it all. I drive myself crazy. Why can't I just be normal?" To which she replied: "Because you are Kristi Linn (maiden name) (former married name) (current last name)." Oh yeah, that's right. I'm me.