 |
| Thought ripples drive me nuts. |
This is my new endeavor. Please subscribe.
theaftergame.com
I'm not sure how much I will write in this blog here, this one, this Life After 40, but I imagine I will use it for more personal what-the-hell-am-I-doing and why-are-people-such-assholes type posts. I still gotta vent. And then I have my old standby over at Live Journal, the one I've kept since 2001. That's one I reserve for the stuff I gotta talk about but can't let just anyone and their grandma read.
This blogging is complicated stuff. But then, I'm a complicated person. Today I was talking to my mom about a certain situation (which shall remain nameless due to certain legalities that I don't really know about but which probably exist) I'm in the middle of that most people would probably be very joyful and excited about. Not me. I am excited, to an extent, but I can't help but think about all the implications of it too. My mind is like an ocean, every thought like a pebble dropped in calm water, every implication and resulting action of the thought like ripples from the dropped pebble, the ripples growing and growing, reaching further and further, all the way back to my childhood and into my future. It's ridiculous. So I said to my mom: "I have such weird emotions over it all. I drive myself crazy. Why can't I just be normal?" To which she replied: "Because you are Kristi Linn (maiden name) (former married name) (current last name)." Oh yeah, that's right. I'm me.
But if you didn't obsess, would your writing be full of the intricacies and texture? It's a trade off we writers make, Kristi.
ReplyDeleteNo, you are very correct, Bill. I always say that with people who have depth and substance, those who love us most must learn to accept the extreme negatives of our personalities in order to benefit from the extreme positives that make us so wonderful (ha!). Example: obsessing over blogs. Does that make sense? This may be a conversation best conducted over a long chat and some cocktails. ~shrug~ I'm sleepy. Hope you're having a great time with your daughter, my friend!
DeleteMy mother, we are so much alike! I was just using the pebble and ripple affect as a metaphor a few weeks ago. Funny how current situations we are placed in can bring up past feelings that have nothing to do with the present. *Sigh* and there goes my blogger mind manifesting my next blog, don't you love it? Love you <3
ReplyDeleteDid you write? I hope so! I'll go look now! I love you too.
Delete"If I were to live my life in catfish forms
ReplyDeletein scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection and think,
"It's beautiful here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace, and ask yourself,
"I wonder if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."
- Richard Brautigan
I love this as much as anything I've ever run across. Ireally really do. Its like I've spent my whole life in this poem.
steve
This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. It made me cry. Thank you, Steve, for sharing...and for your friendship.
Delete